We all get hurt all the time. Someone’s words, actions can tarnish our experience, feelings, thoughts and actions. A mother’s scolding, a friend’s comment, colleagues behavior it could be anything that could make us feel wounded. The wise say that instead of remaining embroiled in anger and bitterness embrace forgiveness. Forgiveness can lead one to a path of happiness, peace and joy.in this article we delve on the concept of forgiveness for a layman. Apart from its usage in everyday life, we will also take a look at the metaphysical aspects of forgiveness.
Delving a little more on the suggestion of the wise I wonder what is the real meaning of the word? Why is it important to forgive? And when I forgive who gains? Is it actually difficult to forgive? And can I actually forgive someone? Let us introspect a little on the topic. May be we are successful in getting some answers.
What is Forgiveness?
There is no specific definition available for the word ‘forgiveness’ but yes there is consensus on the opinion that it is a process and not just a solitary act. It is a decision, a promise to oneself to let go negative thoughts and feelings such as thinking of revenge or bad about someone. Infact just to keep brooding over an issue or hurt even without wanting to do anything bad or taking revenge is a negative feeling from the psychological as well as the metaphysical perspective.
The process of forgiveness conditions one to let go the past and be ready for the future. It allows one to reclaim the positive energies and life. It leads to acceptance of self. It is a way of breaking free from the burden of the past and all the pain. A decision to forgive is a decision to stop the process of judging others.
I just realized irrespective of reality the results of the judgment will be ‘Guilty’ for the other and ‘Victim’ for oneself.
When I decide to forgive does it mean the other person is right?
No, when one decides to forgive it does not mean that the other person is right. It does not justify the actions of the others. When one decides to forgive one decides to separate the people from their actions. What has been done has been done, it cannot be erased but yes, one can chose to release oneself from continuous pain of the past.
Forgiveness is not the end rather beginning of a process
Well I just realized that when I decide to forgive, I decide to put myself through a new journey, a journey that takes me to healing, recovery and peace. When I choose to forgive I decide to walk, walk away from thoughts that cause me pain, hurt and negative thoughts. We are never the same after going through a negative experience and we again go through a transition when we decide to forgive. Till the process of forgiveness does not start one continues to be in pain.
Can I forgive?
Forgiveness cannot be forced and can only be given freely. Each person is independent of others to forgive. To forgive or not to forgive is a matter of choice between moving towards peace or to continue in pain. When one decides to forgive one accepts responsibility for his or her actions and feelings. It means exercising control over our anger or rather breaking free from our anger.
Holding a grudge is so easy
Yes, holding a grudge is easier than forgiving. It is anger that acts as a link between us and the other person. Negative thoughts and feelings are so comforting and reassuring that it becomes difficult to break free from them. When you refuse to forgive you allow someone else to control you, you have someone to blame for all the pain and the hurt you feel.
It is not easy to let go the past and all the pain. Forgiving might seem to be an act of the weak but leaves us feeling stronger. When one is strong one is less vulnerable. Choosing to move away from darkness requires efforts and a very strong will.
To forgive does not mean to forget
This may sound contradictory to what has been said above, but the truth is that to forgive does not mean to forget. Once we have are hurt or injured we cannot expect to be the same. The hurt too has been an experience and every experience conditions us, leaves an impression on our minds. We acknowledge it or not the influence cannot be denied. If not in the conscious, it continues to rest in the subconscious. Every time we decide to forgive, we again subject ourselves to a change. From a felling that ‘I have been hurt and am vulnerable’ ……> to ……. > ‘I have been hurt but I refuse to continue as vulnerable’.
There is a beautiful poem by Barry S. Maltese on Forgiveness. The poem reads as
Remember, when you forgive it you who changes and no one else. Do not expect any change in the other person. It is a gift that you give to yourself and not anyone else. When you forgive, it is you who receives the gift of life
Metaphysical Aspects of Forgiveness
Of course metaphysics is a part of life and hence the metaphysical aspects cannot be seen in isolation still it would be appropriate to consider the above facts from the Spiritual perspective. Spirituality (remember I am talking of being Spiritual even if not religious) is something which springs forth from a pure and clear mind since a disturbed or perturbed mind is least receptive to the higher knowledge and vibrations which form a part of true spirituality.
Not forgiving is just tying yourself to a pole and then trying to walk ahead, no matter how hard you keep trying, you will not budge and all the energy and efforts will be literally going waste. It will act as a leak and will not allow your spiritual nectar to accumulate. It will also effect your aura in negative manner whereas our goal should be to purify the aura as much as possible.
The subtle, deep and silent experiences of the metaphysical realms, whether they come from a deep meditative state, or following the path of karma, gyan or raja yoga all have the purity and cleansing of the mind as the basis and hence one cannot even think of having a mind full of vengeance, hatred, hurt or bad thoughts about anyone or even oneself, and still consider progress in the field.
I hope these thoughts on the concept of forgiveness find resonance in your life and experience. If you would like to share anything or tell us your story about forgiveness just contact us and we will see if that is nice enough to be shared with our readers.
We would take up the concept of forgiveness as per different religions in a separate article.